Full of wisdom

morning sab diha Ed, thanks a lot for your guesses, pero sori, ha, dili man mao. but just for trying very hard, you already get a gift :). ang prize para lang jud na ni Bobot, if he makes the right guess by Mar 31.

Amen to what you shared. Full of wisdom jud si K.Philip.
i just thought of how God would have intervened in Adam's and Eve's love lives in a population of 6,762,996,317 (popclock projection by the International Programs Center, U.S. Census Bureau, 02/26/09 at 03:55 GMT (EST+5 ) . God's principle remains the same, but different kaayo ang context compared to that sa Garden of Eden , so most probably different sab ang strategy ni Lord for this generation.

balik sa ko sa akong work. musta ko ni Edith ha.

Mabel

Na intriga

Hello folks,

Good morning. Na intriga ko anang inyong gikagubtan nga UBS ug hunted-hunter. Apil ko ha. Maski wala ko apil anang premyo, maki-sawsaw lang ko.

No offense ha! How about "UNITED BLESSED SINGLES", "UNDECIDED BEAUTIFUL SINGLE", "UNDENIABLY BLESSED SINGLE", "UNPLANNED BLESSED SINGLENESS", Hmm english na sis Mabel or Bisaya? Can't think of bisaya words.

Ok serious na pod.

Kuya Philip a few times said in his lectures on relationships that all of us who are in Christ are complete with or without partner. He used Col. 2: 9-10. We all have been given fullness in Christ. All of us must be totally secured in God through Christ. Partners are a gift from God. Only a few are called to a life of single blessedness or celebacy. It is a special calling.

We men can never be able to fathom what is going on in the hearts and inner core of women, so we can only as far as we can, say what we believe the word of God says or implies. Also we the married ones can help in accordance to what we experienced with our relationship with our wives. We are in no way expert in exploring womens thoughts. Hope that what we men share will somehow help in anyway our sisters.

Also when Kuya Philip laid out the principles of Marriage, he emphasized the observations of truth in Genesis 2:18-25. He laid out 9 principles and I expanded it to 11 in the course of time. I will discuss the most essential ones.

It would be helpful to note that Adam and Eve have never taken part in the choice of a partner, in fact Adam was asleep. He never complained when God brought him Eve, in fact he was so delighted. On the other hand Eve has no recorded complaint either. It was God who saw the need of Adam not Adam himself, he was the one who planned, decided, acted, made and brought. None of these were partaken by both. Obviously there was a process involved and all of it is God's business.

So what I am saying in my none expert view, that God in his sovereignty will arrange situations wherein we will be assured and have peace of mind and heart, that he is leading us to this person in his timing, not ours and or, is He leading us to stay single. Often times our timing is off mark compared sa timing sa God. If God wants us to marry late and can no longer have children then that would be God's will. One thing sure is that, God's choice, including being married or stay single, is the best and his timing is perfect in accordance to his purposes.

When we talked about God's sovereignty and God's permissive will, it is kind of subjective in view of man's sinful tendencies.

Women, as Lani and the proverbs say, that inner beauty should be displayed not the outer surface beauty.

Growing daily and deeply in our relationship with Jesus every second of the day somehow fortifies us from failing to heed God's leading.

Hope this helps.

In Christ Love,

ED AMPER

Uban sa mgs Bugnaw ug Simod

Teka, teka...pati si mrs. na intriga kon unsa ning UBS. Dili ba na USB? kaive...?kana bang sa computer drive?...UBS- Uban sa mgs Bugnaw ug Simod...hehehehe! meaning ang mga guys around you, dili makaingon..HArd to get kunohay pag-ando Bug-at or Bugnaw ug Simod.-Dili kaingon. Mo try pa ko kon sayop ha...

factoid

sakto gyud si Kuya Boboy, so maayo gyud nga mo-read pud ta women para na-a tay ika-contribute parte D-Day - or tan-aw ta sa mga kara-an nga movies para ingnon nga kabalo ta unsay nahitabo sa River Kwai hehehehe Mangutana bitaw ni ako bana di-in ko kabalo ani nga factoid - mo-ingon lang pud ko sa sine hahahaha

Ultra Beautiful Saints

Hello Mabel,

Hasta ko murag na-intriga sa meaning of UBS. Sa akong tagna, UBS = Ultra Beautiful Saints. Korek?
Belated happy birthday diay uy.

Allan

creative pursuit approach

Bot, maayo jud ka anang mga terms terms dah. Cge, huwat lang ko sa imong pag-unpack sa UBS. abot na ra ba ko diri sa Cambodia, magsugod na ko ug tan-aw tan-aw sa Russian market unsay akong paliton para ipremyo nimo .

Buboy, ang imong gipanghan-ay mora ug ice cream and cake in terms of after taste. Lami, oi. Bitaw, to creatively "pursue" a man's affections is a decision to make or not to make. If we do a survey, i think there are many women that still opt to remain the hunted for different reasons (bisan ug ga-uros uros na gud) : could not get herself to step out of her comfort zone ("uwaw kaayo oi", "lainon pa lang unya ug sabot" (ngek! mao bitaw nga buhaton na aron masabtan )), or just too lazy (it takes hard work baya ------ imagine, magreview pa unsa tu meaning anang E=mc2, abi pa lang banda na ni MC Hammer, get to the sports section/channel rather than on the entertainment/showbiz one, or simply walay budget....mahal na baya ang ice cream and cake... maayo lang unta kun happy na ang mhen sa Tang with Marie biscuit on the side., or simply because she just wants to enjoy being Mary Claire (sige, tunoli ug pamaypay he he he).

this creative pursuit approach is not for the faint-hearted, the lazies and the lifetime Mary Claires.

Hands up jud ko anang Godly friendship, Boy. i believe that's what should be pursued by the girl/woman. but what really is a Godly friendship? for me, it's a friendship that is nurtured and strengthened not only within the Nav or church confines but a friendship that's equally enjoyed in other life domains. Looking back, i had very close friendships with a few Nav guys but they were confined to doing things together within Nav organized activities. For other interests like going to movies, dancing, jamming, swimming, hiking, etc. that I wanted to do in a nonstructured way, or simply hanging out together, I had nonNav male kaberks to do them with. Mao diay nga UBS pa rin me


M.K. ulit

"Dress to kill"

Believe na jud ko nimo boy....grabe nga wisdom...

Pero kanang "hunted and hunter" nga term pareha ra na sa mga lalake nga "Hard to get", then the other one is "Easy Boy" o...di ba? Kung sa pag suot pa "Dress to kill" then Dress to be Killed" Hayyy...

the "hunted" becomes the "haunted"

Hahaha ....the "hunted" becomes the "haunted"...Nice one Bing...and you got me going.

Now, since Im killing time at the office, let me handle this subject in light banter with the reader's indulgence. This is really for singles....and the doubles as well. CAVEAT: Please dont take me seriously.

Ladies...aggression or whatever term connoting initiation by a woman is treading on fine line. Its a high wire, balancing act. But I agree, like you said, there are many dignified ways that a woman can assert her beauty or charm without necessarily appearing "aggressive". (The best diplomats by the way are women, not men, for they have perfected the art of meaning something without saying anything. )

Let me try to imagine what these are, and correct me if Im wrong.

Use of non-verbal communication to catch someone's attention is one. How?

For example, a nice SMS message ( and please spare him the bad spelling. A woman who cant spell is repulsive. Duh! ), a nice book ( cartoons will do. Who knows he might like Batman), a nice smile ( picture perfect close up smile).

Ah, try this one...ice cream and cake. From experience ( at the risk of souding "experienced") I would venture this: sometimes, nah, often times the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. .

A woman who can cook gourmet and whatnot should find a way to let the man of her affection have a taste or sampling of her cooking but without flaunting it. Hellooooo....For those who can't cook other than boiling eggs, ice cream and cake can be bought at the nearest mall or convenience store noh..

Women ought to realize that men like beasts can be tamed. Food tames the lion in a man. There is psychology involved here besides realizing that food is also bait to the hunter. The message that comes across is that "you know how to take care of me". When the man's stomach becomes full he begins to think ( necessarily in that sequence, for a man can never think when he is famished. ).......he sees the food ( or whatever is left of it, crumbs? ) , then he sees the woman behind the food. Bingo...your man graps the point, a flash of brilliance ( it takes time but he will get there) : she cooks like mama mia............ Ladies, never forget that men have varying degrees of dependence with mama. We are mama's boys till the day we die. Catch the man at his weakest - food.

What else? Hmmm....

Besides food, the other manly interest I could think of is sports. If he isn't hooked to one maybe he is a nerd whose idea of leasure is reading Einstein's theory of relativity or proving that E is equal to MC squared. To death, he will bore you with equations.

Sports is a man's world that women must dare to invade if only to catch his attention. You dont need to be a basketball player to be able to talk basketball, although it helps greatly. At least have basic info or know how to get into sensible discussion of sports personalities to begin with and how to keep score. Know that Roger Federrer ( tennis great) is not the owner of Federal Express or that Lewis Hamilton ( formula one racer) has nothing to do with George Hamilton. Check team loyalties too. If he is a Lakers fan, then you must be for the Lakers. You cant be Boston Celtics or he will be on the warpath.

The other tip I can give is this: men love to talk about WARs from the books and movies they'd read/seen ( not from those they'd waged unless they are war veterans). They will bore you to death talking about how King Leonidas and 299 other Spartans ( hey they were called the 300 Spartans) defended Greece in the Battle of Thermopylae against a vastly superior Persian force. Or how Patton rolled across Europe with the US Third Army to capture Berlin. ( Hahaha. Sounds like me). I know ladies cant stand the idea of war ( or the sounds of it that come out of tv) but ask for an extra doze of grace to pretend to be interested. Ngeek! Listen to his war stories to get a connection. Mao ni ang punto sa guera-guera.

Food, Sports, War...its a picture of a hunter's life. That should tell you something about men.

Cheers // Buboy

p.s. its one of those rare lazy days

leaving trails

well said, Buboy and full of wisdom. Makes a lot of sense---- labi na nang "leaving trails".... leaving fragrant trails :)

pero (he he he....).

agression on the part of the woman is another story. there are many approaches where the woman can still carry herself with dignity and again, come out a better woman. she still could remain a decent, respectable human being. is there a part in this issue that goes beyond social etiquette and social order? who assigned these roles of the hunter and the hunted (usahay, the haunted na kay dili man m.u. :). there are life issues that one has to really think through and ask: SO WHAT?

kulit M.

"hunter" prays for the "prey

Hala Bing ...belated happy birthday diay ......kani laging mag tuhiktuhik lang sa emails...ma ulahi ba kita permi.

Yeah, its double edged. I was both joking and serious with my comment that the Navs is a male dominated world, or so it seems. But I am confident that the Navs women will be wiser to not rise up in arms to disprove this point. They dont have too. All too often, the consistent pattern I see among Nav couples is that it is the wives who wield real power behind the scenes. Kuya Bobot and Kuya R.G can attest to that.

As to your query below, I honestly think that women have as much right as men to express themselves. However, there are social rules or etiquettes that govern human relations and it is beyond decency ( or nature) for women to be aggressive. The courtship dynamics is that men woo to curry the woman's affections, and the woman plays coy, tests the water and makes a decision ( he loves me, he loves me not - that kind of decision. Harharhar). You see a lot of that in nature but I meant no allusion to Darwinism for we are not descended from the apes.

But the more compelling reason, better yet, guess, is that men are born "hunters" ....which logically makes women "the hunted". Reversing the rule and the role disrupts social order. Have you heard of "alpha women"? Alpha-male yes, but not alpa-women. And when the "hunter" becomes "the hunted", oh how men hates it.

So, where is the point of redemption for women to be free to choose their mates? Following the hunter-hunted roles, it is for women to leave trails behind for hunting to prosper. Get the drift?

I think, without breaking the rules on decency, a woman who is attracted to a prospect should "leave her trails" - that means to create every opportunity for Godly friendship to blossom. And it is there where courtship begins: a discovery of self and the pursuit for the significant other.

After all is said, a Godly "hunter" prays for the "prey".

Cheers // Buboy

space that men use

joke lang jud na Boy? basin may sagol tinuod he he he..

seriously, i am beginning to see that the issue could be that the space that men use and even enjoy in pursuing a romantic relationship is not as open or wide as that for the women. I struggle with the thought that if the man can have the freedom (no implications, no consequences) to declare his interest to the woman (for the woman to respond yes, no, unya na lang, maybe, let's pray), why is this kind of freedom not "available" to the woman? basin available ni pero wa lang gi-avail. why man? (or why woman?) :)

Navs is still a male-dominated world

You are quite right Vivian. That's my observation too . Either the Nav ladies are too shy to share their feelings/thoughts or the Navs is still a male-dominated world. ( Joke lang ha).

The two gentlemen can open a "Dear Kuya Bobot" or " Dear R.G" program for the lovesick.

Seriously, its really healthy to have Godly mentors in all things, including affairs of the heart. This should be encouraged among the breathren to seek the counsel of their "elders" whom they trust.

// Buboy

unsa man nang UBS bing?

hehehe! unsa man nang UBS bing?

he he, ako nang inimbento, pangontra sa "frozen delights" nga tiawtiaw by few Cebu guys. Kon makatag-an ka unsa nang UBS, Bot, naa jud kay premyo gikan nako. Dad-an taka ug something from Cambodia.

ssssttt, kadtong akong giingnan unsa nang UBS, quiet lang sa mo ha.

Foremost....

To all single ladies:

I have been reading the exchanges on the concerns of the single ladies, and indeed it fascinates me that the ones who gave their thoughts are the guys!!! Kudos to Bobot and RG. Though Mabel and Ruby shared their thoughts too. If you don’t mind, I’d like to share my own thoughts.

Foremost....

• Discern whether it is God’s will for you to remain single or be married. Whichever it is, it definitely is the best status for you. In the process of discernment, you need to review the events that had happened in your life. Nothing ever happens by coincidence - your family background, career, friends, organizations, talents, abilities, etc. Look around you but at the same time look inside yourself. God knows us best and of course he understands us best too. Thus, it pays to listen and obey. If “accidents” happened, God can always re-route us into His direction, only the route becomes longer. (The wait becomes longer too.)

Then....

• Lift-up your desire to God, because I believe even our desires come from the Lord. If you desire marriage, and it is not happening yet, perhaps you are not in the right place at the right time. This alone takes a lot of obedience and surrendering of our will to God. What if God wanted you to go to a certain place and you did not go? What if God wanted you to be in a group and you are hesitant to be in it? What if there are still other priorities God wants you to do? What if there are several “things” in us that needs refinement? There are so many what if’s? Only you can discern this for yourself. God’s time is always the right and perfect just be patient.

But don't forget.....

• Have the right perspective. It is not for us to meet Mr. Right, but rather the perspective should be….”Am I right for Mr. Somebody?” We cannot embark into a relationship if we are not WHOLE. It does not mean to say that we are already perfect – because we can never be. What it means is that we know ourselves; we are able to control our weaknesses; we know our limitations, and what we can give into the relationship; most importantly we do not seek perfection from Mr Somebody, because that Mr Somebody will grow with us into becoming the person God destined him to be - just as we also grow into the woman God destined us to be.

Above all....

• Remember II Corinthians 6:14…“Do not be mismatched with unbelievers. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship is there between light and darkness?” Let God be your matchmaker and of course if He is then be guided according to God’s standards.

NOTE:

I married at the age of twenty-eight, but I had the same feelings and longings during my early twenties. I too asked myself … “Where are the guy’s?” But had I not surrendered my will to God, and followed Him, perhaps I will still be single until now. He he he. Hope this sharing will help.

nanobra gyod siguro ang mga babaye

bay R.G.

Morag nanobra gyod siguro ang mga babaye, asa na man mo uy- daginoton na kaayo ang mga lalaki . maglisod ka ani bay R.G. - isalig na lang sa Ginoo ang tanan, basig magwild tinood, hmm

ayaw lang iprrrrrt

R.G, palihug ayaw lang iprrrrrt kay basin mo-ok-ok ug balik kadtong uban nga hapit na unta mo-eeeeek. ug basin ma-label sila nga leftist, rightist (ultra pa jud!).....i'm sure you will effectively manage these exchanges. don't worry, the minors will take time to consider our opinion (Ruby's, mine) kay pareho man mi nga UBS pa ug status :) --- Rubs, mao ni reason ngano modecline lang ko sa imong gisuggest nga mohandle ug session ani nga topic. kulang pa ang credentials he he.

by the way, it would be good to see an opinion on the topic coming from a male...... pwede ra sab nimo sugdan, R.G. :)

DO NOT DRAW CONCLUSION YET

Dear mga Igsoon,
hehehehehe, prrrrttttttt, time-out before this topic will turn into riot, ang mga minors diha ug apil na mga majors (hehehehe), DO NOT DRAW CONCLUSION YET heheheheehe, let us hear form others first then ato pod tan-awon what the Bible say about this, puede sab nato isagul sagul na. the Biblical and the practical after all many of them are not really contradictory but complimentary. So ultra rightist and ultra liftist and comformist say your piece... hehehe.

RG

wild idea

ok r.g. here is my wild idea. this is a risky business but i'll try
to put them into words. in the grand scheme, i would say it is
perfectly acceptable for a woman to do the first move as God leads
her. In fact, it is commendable! However, culturally, because this
is not common and also there is a negative string attached to ladies
nga mag-una una maulaw na lang ang mga girls to do the move
especially sa pinas. ﷯﷯
i witnessed relationships and marriages nga ang girl ang nag
initiate. there is something special to them and the Lord blessed
them. in fact, i see a better dynamics:) i learned much about this
from a guy in the small group i was leading not long ago. he told me
that usually, it's the woman who come to him first and eventually,
the right woman came along through our sports ministry and now they
are serving in the couples ministry. there are men who are not
comfortable making the first move and there are women who are
assertive enough to express their feelings. well, writing this seems
like i am lecturing to myself also. sayon sulti-on but not easy to
do. but maybe after this wild idea, a wild move would be good:) ﷯﷯
so.. girls, let's get ready..we need to know what we want and where
to find them. there's plenty around and it will be like a treasure
hunting with the Lord:) or a multiple choice hehehe..
btw, unya pa man ta to ug 65 ako edad my plan to get married pero
now i just don't know:) ruby

Bridging

Bing, believe jud ko anangBing, believe jud ko anang bridging nimo..you are really gifted ana nga
area. I was just wondering if you can give a workshop sa reunion.. this
could be a very good contribution sa mga alumni. Morag ang philippine
style kinahanglan ug 4th person/3rd party(bridge) kay si Lord man ang
3rd or 1st ba to sa relationship.

Siguro pwede pod ka mag coach sa NLT..mao na part of the new job
description sa leadership..matchmaking ug e based ilang performance
rating in how good of a matchmaker they are sa ilang constituents.. kana
to encourage them to reach out to more and more guys and train both to
be really really good hehehe. Ang mga girls na dayon ang in demand with
price tag!! Fund raising avenue..Exponential growth sa ministry kay wala
may sayang (physical and spiritual). naaaaaaaaa makasab-an na jud ko ani
ni r.g. sobra na ka wild but i think this is what he is looking for..
hala mga bloggers react!..hehehhe ruby nimo..you are really gifted ana nga
area. I was just wondering if you can give a workshop sa reunion.. this
could be a very good contribution sa mga alumni. Morag ang philippine
style kinahanglan ug 4th person/3rd party(bridge) kay si Lord man ang
3rd or 1st ba to sa relationship.

Siguro pwede pod ka mag coach sa NLT..mao na part of the new job
description sa leadership..matchmaking ug e based ilang performance
rating in how good of a matchmaker they are sa ilang constituents.. kana
to encourage them to reach out to more and more guys and train both to
be really really good hehehe. Ang mga girls na dayon ang in demand with
price tag!! Fund raising avenue..Exponential growth sa ministry kay wala
may sayang (physical and spiritual). naaaaaaaaa makasab-an na jud ko ani
ni r.g. sobra na ka wild but i think this is what he is looking for..
hala mga bloggers react!..hehehhe ruby

UBS ang status

mao na ni,makasagbat na jud ko kay usa ko sa UBS ang status. Ron Guapo, your no.2 item: "tell the man" ----there are various ways to "tell" (verbal, nonverbal). Ang question is what to "tell" -----i think this depends on the stage of the relationship--- kun sa fundraising pa, duna may "suspect", naa sab "prospect" ("suspect"--- mao siguro ning stage where dili pa mo kaila pero nasiplatan lang (hehe) or nakit an ba sa picture, or nabasahan ra ang post diha sa internet or he is simply a new acquaintance ---- so what to tell? ). duna sab "prospect" (siguro friend na ni, or amigo na jud kaayo ni) --- so again, what to tell? kinahanglan jud tawon ni ug wisdom from the Lord in terms of timing, approach, etc. para one can "tell the man" and come out a better woman regardless of the result, considering the Pinoy culture of which we are part of. Also, being Pinoy, i think the age-old "bridge-bridge" approach still works, --- depende sab na sa bridge. Ako nagbridge ko (serious nga bridging work ha) 3 times, nagkadayon jud and they are all happily married to each other.

naa ba sab libro ani nga topic? magpublish ta ug "compilation of best practices and lessons learned" (juk juk juk )

laos na ang BGR

Dear Mga Igsoon,
Salamat sa inyong mga tampo, abi nako laos na ang BGR sa Navs hehehe, I remember one time somebody ask unsa kahay buhaton sa mga navs didto sa heaven? somebody answered, well, didto na sila sa daplin ga personal time, and if you will hear what they are talking about, guess what? Hehehehe right, BGR hehehehe. of course its not true... kay ang uban husband and wife man ang gi-estoryaan, how they meet their husband how they meet their wives hehehe...
Anyway I have chat with some other singles (men and women) and also maried people sometime this week and the issue does not stop on making yourself beautiful, or raising or lowering standards for a life time partner. Here are other issues that we can share about.
1. Going or joining groups where a there is a large percentage that you will meet your possible life time partner. -
a) Social and Christian group within your area
b) Social and Christian groups in the internet.
2. The case of the Girl is the one that will tell the man - Is this totally unacceptable? or is there a situation that this is ok.
Lets us freely share on these issues, with purpose of ministering to one another and making the Gospel relevant to these issues. Never mind if your ideas are wild, hehehehe and I hope none of us will judge anyone on what they share..

RG

Now my own testimony

Hi All,

Your inputs K. R.G.& K. Bobot are very realistic and adding them up
would make a very holistic view on longings of the heart. I appreciate
you both bec. oftentimes, this issue touching the very core of the
single ladies are sometimes just ignored, when in fact this could be a
good avenue to minister to them and bring them closer to God. K. Bobot
nalingaw kos imong giingon nga you looked like a drunk before...karon
hubog na gyod? (joke only)

Celine, I always appreciate your honesty. Sometimes, when we are
Christians, we are often faced up with the dilemma of what is proper
or not. When I was single, I had the impression that it is not so
proper for a Christian lady to be so open about it, bec. there are
other more important things in God's work for His kingdom, but still I
was open as you knew it (he,he,he!). What is more proper than being
honest about this longing, esp before God? Lin, dires America dili
gyod ka bugal-bugalan kon single ka di pareha diha.

Now my own testimony:

While I was still waiting for "Mr. For Me Only,"I observed people who
are in love with their partners in life. I was able to conclude nga
lahi2 gyod ug kalipay ang tawo. I was able to say, "may pang buang naa
gyoy para ila nga malipay ra pud sila!" And I'm not that type
(hopefully, he,he,he!) Then...I wished sana I could have been more of
a naive, sweet person than an intelligent one (I don't know in what
way pero mao man niy ingon sa uban,he,he,he...) bec I noticed these
are the type of personalities that men find more attractive, as it
appears to me. I have the idea that men tend to be intimidated by
intelligent women. Finally, now that I'm married, Michael and I were
talking about the qualities we had been praying for in a partner...
amazing - to him intelligence is No. 1! Wa na lang ko mo-delve kon
nag-long ba siya'g guapa...kay basin magubot mi (he,he,he!)But maybe
he was attracted to my 50 % off studio photo I posted on the website
where we met. Anyways, one time we had an argument, I told him
straight, "You can't expect me to play naive or just be passive and be
super sweet...bec. I'm intelligent!"

Back to Celine and the rest:

There will always be someone that God has prepared for you if you're
meant for it despite the lesser population of men compared to women.
Correct ka Lin, maybe naa'y ma-byudo (I'm not cursing, just stating a
reality) or naa ba kaha'y bayot nga ma-fully converted into not only
Christianity...but masculinity as well or naa bay ma-divorced. I know
that marrying a divorced person is still an issue for some Christians
but I was consoled to know that C.S. Lewis married a divorced person.
May noon practiced na sa married life. I'm not promoting here with
whatsoever...the point is take your pick, be open for possibilities
and be ready for it.

I once saw a shirt worn by my male co-worker with this writing, "I may
not be Mr. Right but I am Mr. Right Now!" A good warning with humor.

Lani Gador-Johnson

WOW! Kuya RG & Kuya Bobot

WOW! Kuya RG & Kuya Bobot, thank you soooo much for going deep down and really understanding and taking the time to expound & give your much-needed wise advise for the single ladies.

Indeed, there's nothing to be ashamed of about our longing. It's just a shame though that others make fun of our situation without being sensitive to how we really feel.

You said something about making friends...sometimes I am wary/hesitant to make friends with the opposite sex because they tend to misinterpret your kindness (genuine kindness, not flirting) or simply your interest in knowing them as a person. Even people who are not involved tend to misinterpret your action as well. They seem to think you are DESPERATE.

When I was a new Christian at Cityland, I had an officemate who is also a Christian and she really takes time to "beautify" herself. I really struggled inside because I thought being a Christian means simplicity and it's vanity for me at that time for one to "beautify" herself :). Thank God, it was short-lived! Someone corrected me on that thought :) and now I am more convinced that I should beautify myself outside as my gratitude for the love, joy and all the blessings that God has given me. In effect that would be an avenue for others to also notice what/who makes me attractive. :). You also made my eyes opened to the reality that even Christian men love attractive women. Haayyyy...maong mag-explore na jud ko more ani kung unsay angay sa ako without feeling guilty nga magpa-guapa ko, hehehe.

I still have a lot to express but langayan kaayo ko mag-ponder to put my words into writing and besides nagdagan ang oras sa internet cafe :). One thing I have to say, Kuya Bobot & Kuya RG, I truly appreciate everything that you have written and the effort as well. It only means that you truly care for us :) and for that, THANK YOU! Kung makapalit nako ug notebook, I will read your message again and again to remind myself not just to WAIT but to take responsibility to find not MR. RIGHT but MR. ENOUGH, for he is good enough! :)

Kuya Bot, when and where will you talk about this topic? Please give my regards to Ate Jean and kindly ask her to text me about the details. Or mana ba? :)

Mga Igsoon kong mga Maanyag,

God knows what our situations are. He also knows each individual's longing. Getting a husband is a noble longing. It is not something to be ashamed of. Jean and I frequently are discussing about single ladies. Don't you believe that at one time I can not help but cry for friends who are at their stage in life are still single and no one, someone intimate walking with them whenever they are going out. I know that it is a very real longing of each ladies.

Over the years as Jean and I are trying to process the "Whys...of a single ladies", these are the things that transpired:

1. A lot of the ladies became victims of waiting for Mr.
Right rather than discerning on "He is good for me..".
I am not sure if our meaning for Mr. Right is okay.."How
right?... How does he looks like? How does he moves?
The man "who is good for for me,..." is just enough for
me. There is no Mr. Right. Everything is known when you
are staying the same house, the same room everyday.

2. Setting too high a standard does not work all the time.
This is one thing we need to correct or rectified. When
I was a new Christian, I always heard a "must"
requirement. He must be a BS leader, he must have a
strong leadership capability. He must be sanguin,...and
the list of requirements, goes on an on. I dont think
this are wrong, but what I am saying is when we consider
thingslike these, we need to know that these are already
endangered species even before. Had my wife listed these
mentioned qualities, poor me, I can not have a Christian
woman. Praise God that my wife's requirement was so
simple and ordinary: " To have a Christian husband..."
I think I have a much higher requirement than her. I
desire to marry a Christian woman who fears God,
memorized the TMS and is willing to go cultural
mission(that's why until now we are still on the local
shore,..hehehehe). The drawback of my prayer.., she is
always checking me if I am still reviewing my TMS...
When he was asked "Why Bobot...", She said: "There is
something in him that only me can see..."That even me I
do not know. When I was a new believer (and perhaps
until now), my face looks like that of a
drunkard...hehe!

3. Are you enjoying your life? This one we read from an
author of a book in my shelf. The author said that if
you are not enjoying your life, it can be seen by people
around you. You do not know that both ladies and guys
are "shopping" around whom to marry. The author said
that if the gentleman happens to see that you are not
enjoying each day in your own life, he would not dare to
join you otherwise, his life will become gloomy too.
I think we can try thinking about the truthfulness of
this theory by looking at evidence displayed. Try to
realize if indeed the wives of your nav kuyas are really
happy women: Judy versoza, Celsa Bongo, Edd
Tadulan(Nakaduha na na si bay Edd),Glo Saguit, and others.

4. RG is right when he mentioned about being beautiful. Being Beautiful is being you at your best both inside and outside. The hunt for beauty is one thing that is not changed on a guy's perspective when he became christian. To be spiritual is an advantage but that will not excuse ladies not to be on their best daily. The guys of the world is seeking for beauty the same as the christian guys. Be BEAUTIFUL everyday.

So, while Mr. Enough has not arrived yet, what do we need to do? There are two things:
1. Be Happy and enjoy life. Life is beautiful and worth
enjoying. Be with friends, dont stay inside your
shell. Tell the world that you are happy and willing
to be a friend.

2. Stay Beautiful. Even if the wait is long to come for
Mr. Enough, God is worthy to see your beauty each
day. God wants to see you beautiful because it is one
sign that you enjor the gift that He gave to you.
We will discuss more about this during the alumni conference of which Jean and I are assigned for this topic.

Bobot

I, not the Lord,

Dear Single Ladies and Gentlemen here in CebuNavs,
I have chat to some ladies and gentlemen and the issue of getting married is a real longing, that should also be discussed among us. We who are married can give wisdom to them.
It's interesting that when Paul was talking about marriage to the Corinthians he used two types of wisdom, one from the command of God and the other from his own wisdom look at the two verses below..
Co 7:10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord..,1Co 7:12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say...
So I am here on the basis of "I, not the Lord, say..." hehehehe... I have many thing to say on single ladies kay mas lisod man sa single ladies to find mr right..Many godly ladies are just literally waiting without doing anything for the right man to come. But I think we should also view "getting married" or "finding the right man" as partnership bet us and God. If you look at the Bible, God always loves to partner with man, even to the most critical task of finding His people whom he predistined to be with Him in heaven. I think Single ladies, your perspective will change if you will view it as "Partership", same as ministry, an offshoot of our close relationship with God. That means "you have something to do" other than just waiting. Here's my piece of advice "Make yourself BEAUTIFUL from inside out." being beuatiful inside is the result of your relationship with God, but being beautiful outside is your responsibility. It is important mga igsoon to take this responsibility because bisan kinsa nga HOLY MAN who is still in flesh, is also looking not only for inner beauty but also (or much so) for outer beauty. Now I want to make this very very clear, because if you follow my advice you might go to the other extreme of flirting or pa duduing which is not proper culturally (Filipino), ang sa ako is only up to "making yourself beautiful" Now you may say di man ko guapa unsaaon man ni ron... hehehehe... my personal opinion is everyone has physical beauty in them, it is a matter of exploring them, sa ako, beauty comes out if makit-an nimo unsay "angayan nimo", so it would be fun for you to explore it with a help of your friends. "Don't flirt just make yourself beautiful"...hehehehe.
For gentlemen out there, I know that most of us are attracted first physically...but do not be decieved...go deep into the heart for you to see the inner beauty of a girl... with that you also have a job to do in parnership with God in finding the right girl for you... Since inner beauty is deep inside, you will not notice it unless you dig.. developing good general friendship with many single ladies is the key...ug tungod sa akong bias (again, I not the Lord.. hehehe), ayaw na mo palayo, naa na sa atong duol... there are so many beautiful ladies in the Navs hehehehehe. Common guys... open your eyes wide and clear...hehehe

RG

endangered species 2

Hi, Loidz! :)

Sorry, karon ra ko ka-reply...I wanted to reply that time nga nag-reply ko ni Kuya Rene pero nag-reply pud gud ko ug message ni Mirriam and another friend unya langayan kaayo ko mo write ug letter oy mag-balik2 pa jud ko basa. :)

Tinuod jud na imo gi-sulti, Loidz nga "endangered species" na ang sama nila ni Kuya Rene even among Christian guys lisud japon gani rong panahuna :). So, magpa-abot na lang ta kinsay mabalo nila para second batch na lang ta, hahaha! Sakto sad ang imo giingon nga naay disadvantage ang married life kay unlike the singles we are free to go anywhere we want to. Pero I believe that if the longing exist in your heart God has someone for you it's just a matter of His timing :). Kita man gud ideally gusto jud nato during the period nga puede pa ta manganak pero lahi man ang timetable ni God. And yes, indeed it would be WOW even when that special someone will be given to us at the age when we are no longer able to bear a child. It's really a matter of trusting Him no matter what, even if it means being single for life also. I'm just really being honest with my longing, that's how I have always been.

Yes, I have read that book and maybe one of these days I'll read it again. I think I brought it with me here in Manila.

Grabe kaayo ang opportunity nga gihatag ni God sa imo/inyo no? At least nakasuroy na ka sa lain-lain nga countries and places :). Hay, dream sad na nako...

Sya, 'til our next email..take care diha ha and God bless!

Nalingaw kaayo mi

Dear Rene/Celsa:

Nalingaw kaayo mi sa inyo pictures ga sige katawa si Celsa. Unsa man diay imong gi sulti? Taga-i kuno mi ug details bisan gamay lang.

Johanna will start working as a staff nurse at Cebu Doc SouthGen ( Naga) next week while waiting for her schedule for Nclex. She wants to try it out first as a nurse, then see for herself what opportunities are there in this career or she might pursue medical studies later. She's gone through all sorts of training. She was among the first volunteer nurses who responded to the call of the local government for help in identifying the Sulpicio casualties and attending to their families.Si Jed is now sophomore at Ateneo de Manila taking up management engineering. Kim will also be joining his kuya this coming June in the same school - either management of applied chemistry or management engineering.

Pasabot ini...kami na lang magdakop-dakop ni Joy sa balay. Pwede na mag patintero didto ug diba mag bayle. Hehehe

How are your kids? hope they are adjusting well. Maayo ni sila kay dali ra maka adjust labi na sa tugnaw.

We're praying for you. // Buboy

hapit na ko mapikon

Hi Buboy,

Salamat sa imong encouragement kay hapit na ko mapikon,

Nakalimut na ko boy, anang-doctor2X.

Bitaw, regards to Joy, Si Johanna nag-doctor na? Si Jed unsa nay kurso? Si Kimboy smart gihapon, that boy has long way to go.

Si Edd, I know mas-colourful ang iyang love story, may it be the first or the second. Abangan !!!!!

Rene Bongo

VALENTINOS y VALENTINAS

Saludos a todos los VALENTINOS y VALENTINAS. Diga la historia de un amor

Dr. Rene...salamat kaayo sa imong gi share. Mo tahod gyud ko nimo isip dr kay dili baya sayon mag doctorate, i.e. environmental engineering ba kadto?.

Maayo nga imong gisugdan ning "Tribute to Love" ...Ahhhh Ug sa binisaya pa........." Sugilanon sa Usa ka Gugma " ...kasay-sayan sa mga pinitik sa kasing-kasing sa usa ka tawo nga ato na lang itago sa pangalan nga Rene.................

Dr. Edd...kaning imong diagnosis ba...shoot kaajo uy. Imo man gyud gipusil. Kitang mga lalaki ba "actions speak louder than words" man gud ta. MO kidhat-kidhat lang ba.

Pagka basa najo ining testimony ni Dr Rene, nakatawa ko dyotay kay very logical and methodical kaayo....mura dunay pagka SWOT analysis kini. Nag scanning una, then iyang gi himay-himay ang strengths/weaknesses and identified his opportunities and threats bag-o niya gi formulate iyang mga action plans and once he zeroed in on his target he started implementing them. Heeeeehaw. Pero as you said no details given man ( kay basin tua ra pud tingali sa attachments)..kay kining gi post diri ni Rene is just an Executive Summary. Unsa ba kamo? Mag hulat kita sa un-cut version ( tua ni Celsa kini).

It would be good for all of us, and especially for the young ones, to know those details to prove that prayer and strategy works. Harharhar.

Nan kay ang unang ni tubag kay si Dr Edd man, ato siyang dasigun sa pag say-say sa iyang ejemplo....basin mga "you're my everything and you're the wind beneath my wings" type of avowals kining iya....sa iyang huna-huna kay basin pareja pud sa kadaghanan dili pud siya ka-ingon. Hehehe

Na hala...

Cheers to all // Buboy

penguin soiety

Hi mga single ladies,

di ta ko mag-apil2 pero pawas kalaay (he,he he!) one reason man
gud(aside from what K Rene mentioned) mas daghan babaye kay sa lalaki.
it's also like that in the penguin soiety (March of the Penguins).
pero if you're meant for marriage, this shouldn't matter. be assured
that i'm praying for all of you single ladies (who have this desire)
that God will also prepare you to be the wright woman for your right
man...para di mo mo-complain about your husbands(quoting again from K.
Rene) but will love him no matter and that is vice-versa.

ana gyod na basta single pa ta unya hapit ng Valentine's Day...mapukaw
ang desire. mora'g diha ra man pud uy nga big deal kaayo ang V Day.

sige...happy valentine's day to all of you.

lani

Thank you for the honest sharing..

Hi Celine,

Thank you for the honest sharing..

By the way, we are planning to meet regularly with our alumni working in
MAkati area. possibly twice a month during a weekday after 5pm....so I
will contact you when we start ..we will start will a consultation with
you all.

You can bring also others..

Blessings,

Wency.

expression of my heart

Very well said, Kuya Ren ang last paragraph. "Haayyy" is just an expression of my heart for my longing. For the people who knows my family background kasabot ra jud kaayo na sila sa akong longing. There are distractions, but I still would want the best from the Lord and even when I reached 50 I would still say unto the Lord, "The best man is yet to come!" hehehe...ug kung wala man jud ganiy mo abot pag 60, mo give-up na jud ko ana. Anyway, kung di pud maminyo si Ammi nag-sabot naman mi nga magkuyog na lang mi sa home for the aged, hehehe....covenant pa ba to nato, sis? Wala ko mag-ampo nga di ka maminyo ha, hehehe...

Kuya Ren, thank you sa imong insights ha, appreciate it. By the way, I am now working in Makati. I went back to Cityland where I first became a believer pero they have assigned me sa sister company, Cityplans. Please pray lang kay the situation of the pre-need companies right now is not so good. But I'm not really worried, as our employers trust in God why shouldn't I?

Ug parehas nimo, thankful sad ko ni God nga I still wake up each day nga naay work to support my needs, my mom and others. :)

HAPPY HEART'S DAY, everyone! May the love of God keep us and give us all joy in the midst of the crisis!

Celine

Lan and Loidz, later nako mo reply ninyo...gutom na kaayo ko :).

Sa mga asawa

Sa mga asawa, hinaut nga mabasa nila ang maong kanta sa kanhiay nga panahon nga puno sa paghigugna sama sa gipahayag ni RENE ug ni Bugboy ug ni Edd...hehehe!

Where do I begin to tell the story
Of how great a love can be
The sweet love story that is older than the sea
The simple truth about the love she brings to me
Where do I start

With her first hello
She gave a meaning to this empty world of mine
There'd never be another love another time
She came into my life and made the living fine
She fills my heart

She fills my heart
with very special things
With angel songs, with wild imaginings
She fills my soul with so much love
That any where I go
I'm never lonely
With her along who could be lonely
I reach for her hand. It¢s always there

How long does it last
Can love be measured by the hours in a day
I have no answers now but this much I can say
I know I'll need her until the stars all burn away
And she'll be there

How long does it last
Can love be measured by the hours in a day
I have no answers now but this much I can say
I know I'll need her until the stars all burn away
And she'll be there

Happy valentyine's Day sa tanan.

"endangered specie"

Hi Celine,

Motingog ko kay naapil ako name...hahaha!

Nice to hear from you...i miss our times of sharing sa Moriah sauna...when kaha ta mag abot balik no?

well, i think "endangered specie" na ang parehas ni kuya Rene ug uban pang mga kuya sa ilang generation,hahaha!...peace sa naligsan!..joke lang :)

seriously, their wives are so blessed having them...and you'll be so blessed too kon makakita pa ka ug same nila rong panahona,hehehe!..peace again!

anyway, if we allow the Lord to write our own love story, I still believe it's WOW! (Worthy of Waiting).

But if that kind of life is not meant for us, let's continue enjoying as a single kay there are advantages pod if we have no attachment, di ba?...i'm sure nag enjoy pod ka dha..ako pod dri nag enjoy pod ko "feeling tourist" den sideline lang ang work,hahaha!...feeling lang ba!...laayun pod baya sa work pero magthink ug laag para ma abtik...hehe!

Have you read "Living Joyfully as Single in a Couple's World" by Harold Sala?...nice sya na book.

Best Regards,
Loida

I pity them

P.S. Celine – unsa-on ang uban nga-Nav guys sa lain man nangita. I pity them, they missed a lot. I still have to hear a husband that complained about his Nav wife. Pero I have heard, wives complaining about her Nav husbands.

Rene Bongo

Pag-huwat lang

Hi Celine,

Of course, wa ko makalimut nimo uy. Asa na man ka karon?

By God’s grace, OK ra mi diri. Celsa and the kids are doing well. With the recession now, we are thanking the Lord every morning that we still have our work to go to.

Thanks for the appreciation of what I have shared; which a few felt it was boring.

Pag-huwat lang kay basin na-ay gipreparar nga mas-pogi, mas-buotan, ug diyos-on pa. If none, He has much better plan for you than being married. Unya kung mamugos gyud, mag-una-una sa Ginoo, ug unya mag-short-cut na; later magmahay kay problematic kayo ang kinabuhi. With that case, it’s better to remain single. There is only one safe and better place in this world, which is where God has placed you.

Rene Bongo

This is Celine

Hi, Kuya Ren! This is Celine, former secretary of WOL, ka remember pa ka nako? :) How are you, Ate Celsa, Leste, Ire, Johnson and Timi? You must have adjusted pretty well na diha sa Canada.

It was nice of you to share your love story. I thought man gud men are more reserved in terms of expressing their emotions where "love"/women are concern. I was indeed kilig to the bones when you said that you are up to now very much in love :).

Hayyyy, when kaha mi nila ni Ate Elvie, Ate Pops, Ammi, Zonia, Loida, and the other girls maka share pud sa among unique love story from God. :)

Best regards to Ate Celsa.

God bless!

Celine

just an introduction

Hi Edd and Amir,

As I have said it was just an introduction because after that was Celsa’s. What you have read was just an excerpt but I can deliver a hilarious speech too. To prove that are the attached pictures, just imagine the reaction of the audience.

Wrong, Amir. We are sweeter than ever before. Last nga nag-away mi siguro 2 years ago na. Tugnaw kayo diri, so mag loving-loving na lang.

Rene Bongo

boring gyud tuod

Hello Ren,
Hehehehehehehe lupig pa man si Guy and Pip pasagdi na lang na si Ed, kay di man na kamao mag imagine sa in between the line. Pero akong duda ani nag away mo Celsa ron, nao ni imong nahunahunaan pamaagi aron makabasa siya hehehehehehee. Anayway thanks Ren, Oh Dok. Ed ikaw na pod sa imong love story... Akong love story nga madunggan ang Kay Bay Venric .... Hehehehehe

RG

P.S. By the way boring gyud tuod Ren hehehehehe I agree with dok Ed. si Celsa ang pasuwata....

ask your wife

Rene,

Next time you share your love story, ask your wife to share it.
I found your story very boring! No sweet nothings in between.

Ladies have peculiar ways to telling stories that will keep you riveted.
What they can talk or write in one whole page, men will say it in one
sentence.

Warm personal regards,

Edd

Love Story of Rene and Celsa

Let me just share to you all, the excerpt of my love story with my wife Celsa, which I shared to our church’ Couple Night last Feb 7, as an introduction on God’s faithfulness to our lives.

I know to many this is a familiar love story. Nevertheless, it would be worthwhile to share this, hoping it would simulate some thinking and discussions.

Our love story is made in heaven, but our marriage is live on earth. It was based on the ideal Christian ways, but it was far from perfect, of course. I am grateful and I have no regrets.
Celsa and I met each other in a Christian organization environment, during our university years.

I get to know and committed by life to the Lord through The Navigators when I was in my first year college sometime in 1980. Since then, I was taught to make my studies the priority, and should not be involved in BGR or boy girl relationship. So I interact with the girls in “we are just friends” manners, the same treatment to each one, kept a distance, and conceal my intentions and crushes. But I always prayed to the Lord to prepare the right woman for me, while I was striving to become the right man for her. It was then in my fifth and final year that I started to look seriously for candidates. So then I have my short list, and started my exploration and investigative schemes.

I started to take notes on their strengths and weaknesses. So were their likes and dislikes and the compatibility with mine. Very good and important source of information were their spiritual leaders and also their colleagues. And I seek the counsel of the Navs leaderships and the confirmation from my spiritual leader. On top of it all I console to the Lord, cleanse my intentions and seek His will

It may sound to be very objective and dead emotions. But no, because in the process of it all, my emotion was slowly building up, although in a controlled and discipline manner. When I already “zero in” on Celsa, my love for her has grown so much that I also had experience “pounding” heart, “can’t live without her” feelings, sleepless nights, and “kilig to the bones”.

So when I finally graduated and finished the licensure board examination, I started to charge with full confidence. She was then was very well prepared too, that when I verbally express my love and intentions to her for the first time, she right away, there and then, accepted it. Can you imagine, I even told her to hold it and pray for it first. But after 2 days, we finally agreed to officially declare we are on.

We got married after 2 years, have four children and we are on our 22nd year. And here I am, still very much in love.

Rene Bongo